Tuesday, December 14, 2010

How to Get Fat

Part One: Buttermilk Syrup

I can't really remember what life was like before graduate school. I remember something about taking long walks, drinking lattes (who am I kidding, I definitely still do that), reading books for fun...even being bored. One thing I'm certain I did a lot of was cooking. And baking. Baking and cooking and being bored. I think that was my life in Augusta.

Now I write papers. And I read books. I write 20 page papers and read really long books. Hopefully my future life will be some combination of both reading and cooking. The end.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my holiday recipes because, well, I just finished the semester so I'm reverting back to my old ways. In the face of a five week holiday hiatus, I basically just want to bake and read The Hunger Games trilogy (that is my book recommendation for the month -- sometimes teen fiction can totally be scholarly).

Andrew's aunt shared this recipe with me several years ago and it's been an obsession ever since. This buttermilk syrup is amazing with pancakes or waffles, over ice cream, in your coffee, over brownies, apple pie...it's like the color black of baking fashion. Andrew says I'm bad at similes and metaphors. I disagree.

So here it is:

Buttermilk Syrup
1 tbl white Karo syrup
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup buttermilk*
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup butter
1/4 tsp vanilla
*if you don't have buttermilk, you can make it by adding 1 tablespoon lemon juice or white vinegar to one cup of milk and letting it sit for 5 minutes.

Directions
note: this recipe is a lot like a science experiment; meaning, it gets really big because it foams at the mouth a lot -- so use a really big pot or you'll regret it.

Cook all ingredients over medium high heat in a LARGE pot, stirring constantly.
It will look safe and harmless:

first stage

Eventually the mixture will form into a nice liquid.

second stage

But then it gets mad and you have to stir it a lot.

third stage

It should foam like this:

fourth stage

When the foam begins to darken to a butterscotch color, remove from heat.

But that's the tricky part -- what exactly is butterscotch color?

I did a google image search for "butterscotch" and here is one of the top results:

butterscotch pony

This is Butterscotch Pony. She "is a life-sized plush pony that loves to be groomed and cared for. She has many features similar to that of a real pony, including moving eyes, ears and head, soft fur coat and a swishing tail" and is available for $225 on Amazon (talkingdolls.info).

Soooo when the buttermilk syrup is the color of Butterscotch Pony, you should remove it from the heat. Probably a little darker than this would be just right:

butterscotch color

More like this:

better color

I would say the whole process take around 10-15 minutes. Don't undercook it though, or it won't thicken. When the foam has subsided, stir to combine the ingredients and pour into a small serving pitcher.

pitcher

syrup

Let it cool a bit in order to thicken a little more, then pour it over everything in your kitchen to make it taste better.

pouring

Then go eat raw celery.

Happy Holidays!

10 comments:

Karyn Guido said...

You had me at "How to Get Fat."

I love this stuff!! Thanks Lynds--and Kathy!

The Finch's said...

Are those cinnamon rolls in the bottom picture? Looks tasty.

lyndsey said...

Yes! Cinnamon rolls are part two!

Carmen said...

At "pour it over everything in your kitchen" I had visions of you dancing around (probably in a frilled apron with a book tucked in the pocket), whipping a ladle-full of syrup on the toaster, the walls, the kettle... sliding on it across the floor. And it was all in slow motion. Thanks for making my day, yet again! :)

p.s. The Hunger Games = excellent. I'd like to teach them but am afraid to ruin it.

Ben and Alicia said...

Very happy he's home. Now you can say you've survivied your first deployment..and it wasn't that bad, right? :-)
Also, are those Paula Deen pots in your next post? Do you like them?

lyndsey said...

Carmen -- I know, the Hunger Games are awesome right? I just got the trilogy because I still need to read the third book. Even my grad professors are recommending them. I'm glad to know I always have a kindred literary spirit with you. :)

Alicia -- Yes I survived...but I'm not in a hurry to do it again :)

And yes, those are Paula Deen pots and I really like them. I try to take good care of them by hand-washing them and such, but I would definitely recommend them. Plus they're just sort of cute. I especially like the blue and green colors.

Congrats again on your husband's return! Thanks for all your support.

Jenny said...

Should this replace the maple glaze for THE cinnamon rolls? I'm willing to give it a try on the 2 batches I'm making tonight.

I guess I need to find these Hunger Games books. Everyone and their professor are talking about them, so I guess they have something to offer my over stimulated brain matter.

lyndsey said...

Well I am pouring it all over cinnamon rolls in the last picture, so yes, it's amazing. But I had already put on cream cheese frosting first -- which you've obviously already rejected. If you're giving them as gifts I might worry they would be a bit soggy? It's definitely worth eating with cinnamon rolls though. You must try it.

And Andrew just got me the trilogy and I'm rereading the first book. You can have it when I'm done if you'd like?

Jenny said...

I like cream cheese frosting, but it is so terribly rich that I don't care for it on cinnamon rolls. My world famous carrot cake (ok, famous only in my family) has cream cheese frosting and I love it. Just needed to clear that up. :)

Yes, I would love to read it. Holla.

Amanda said...

Basically...the buttermilk syrup is the best thing I've ever encountered and I would probably drink it by itself. (Haha, JK it's way too sweet.)
I'm currently eating a Cinnamon Roll Pop-Tart if that counts for anything...?

PS. Every blog you post is one more reason for me to visit. And trust me, food is a BIG reason haha.